Star in Remake of Pretty Woman (FEMALE) - Newspaper Spoof

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Sample Story for JENNY BLOGGS from NAVAN

Headline: JENNY BLOGGS TO STAR IN REMAKE OF PRETTY WOMAN

Sub-Headline: Navan star and Brad Pitt join forces for summer blockbuster

Story:

In the age of Hollywood remakes such as Arthur, Hairspray and Batman, one obvious exception has been missing from among the classics – Pretty Woman. Brad Pitt was an obvious choice for Richard Gere’s role of Edward Lewis, but Julia Robert’s character has been a closely fought contest.

Mila Kunis and Scarlett Johansson were favourites to play the role of Vivian Ward but it was Brad Pitt himself who pushed for Jenny Bloggs to join him on set. ‘I’ve wanted to work with Jenny for some time,’ he said. ‘I’ve heard that most girls from Navan have a reputation for being real party girls.’

There’s believed to be a new twist to the plot, written this time by Dublin writer, Roddy Doyle. ‘I wanted to write something that would allow Jenny the opportunity and freedom to really show off her talent. She’s far too unpredictable to be confined by my mere international award winning words.’

Already there have been rumours of an on-set romance between Bloggs and Pitt. ‘They’re just not true,’ she denied, however Angelina Jolie flew immediately to their filming location in Malibu. ‘No, I don’t feel threatened by Jenny,’ she commented, ‘I know everyone says that she’s like a younger version of me but we’ve been for a cocktail and she’s a really nice girl. I fully trust her. By the way, have you seen Brad anywhere?’

Quentin Tarantino is directing this time round. ‘I’ve worked with Brad before but I’ve never worked with Jenny,’ he said. ‘At first I thought she’d be far too good looking for the role, but now that I’ve met her in person, my fears have been allayed.’

We caught up with Jenny coming out of Pitt’s trailer this morning. ‘We were just going over some of the script,’ she assured me. I asked her how it felt to have come this far, all the way from her hometown of Navan. ‘It’s really not that strange,’ she told me, ‘being from there I always felt a little different than everyone else. A little superior I suppose.’

We asked her if she’s afraid of being stereotyped by playing a down-on-her-luck Hollywood prostitute? ‘Not at all,’ she said. ‘I’ve already been offered some great new parts; Leaving Las Vegas Part 2, Geisha Girls and a remake of Boogie Nights.’ Whatever happens, we’re sure that it’ll be a bright future for Jenny Bloggs.